It hit me like a ton of bricks, which I think is how this usually works.
It was silent and crippling but before I knew it, I was consumed by it. Within a matter of ten seconds my worth dropped, I felt uncomfortable in my own skin and I started feeling hatred towards people I didn’t even know.
All because I jumped on Instagram.
I realized that I had an easy fix, I had a picture from about a year ago that all my friends said was hot and my sisters told me I “slayed.” I thought that if I posted that picture, all my problems would be solved. That the void I was feeling, that the sadness in my heart would all be eliminated.
So, I posted the picture.
As the minutes started to pass, the likes and the comments started to come in but the weird thing was, that feeling of emptiness didn’t go away.
An hour later I deleted the picture.
My point in sharing this is because I think that this process is happening all the time without us even realizing it. Maybe it isn’t as apparent as it was in my experience but I think subconsciously we are dealing with this all the time.
We look at social media and see perfection and slowly start to forget that perfection isn’t achievable. It has caused us to forget that we are all perfectly imperfect humans that struggle, feel pain and fall short. It has become a new drug that can help us feel numb from the reality we don’t want to face.
We start thinking things like, “if I had that outfit I would be beautiful,” “If I like six of this girl’s photos, maybe she will give me attention,” “if only my significant other posted pictures like so-and-so, maybe our relationship would be better.”
Scary, isn’t it?
After this experience, I have decided to fight back by starting Crop Top Girl’s 30 Days of Kindness. For the next 30 days, I will be highlighting 30 different people on my Instagram who have shown me kindness. I want people to log onto Instagram and feel good about who they are and what they are doing. I want to remove the self-serving attitude from social media and bring it back to community.
I am really excited to start this journey and I hope that you will follow along. Let’s make social media kind again together.